I spent four days at the Women of Wisdom Conference last weekend. I had had an emotional time getting ready for it and was doubting whether I wanted to go again this year. I was committed so I proceeded to prepare.
The first day was good, getting to know new people, reconnecting with old friends, selling products and having conversations about wise woman ways. Still I doubted whether I should be there. My life has expanded and changed. My work has grown. I am not the same person anymore. I am seeing how I need new avenues, new venues. So I created the question and the seeking to know what I was doing there.
Women of Wisdom is the reason I am no longer a school teacher. Women of Wisdom is the reason I started on the path of discovering the spiritual path that is mine to take. Before I was seeking but I didn’t know what was available. I learned about the Goddess, fell in love with the Goddess, I learned about Wicca and the earth teachings. I took my first shamanism class. I heard women talk about ancestors and sacred dance. I met Susun Weed and EagleSong, wise woman teachers that changed my life.
Had I outgrown this space that empowers women? I was asking.
I have had a challenge with my hip and walking for the past couple of years. I have dived deep into healing and transformation from this situation. I have learned invisible ways to heal. This journey has led me to transform my entire life. I have taken responsibility for my work in ways that has nurtured it to grow. I have learned to be at peace with money and have taken responsibility for my financial situation. I have transformed my marriage in partnership with my beloved husband. I have been successful in ways beyond what I could dream about.
This time when people approached me and asked how I was doing? What I was doing to heal or when I was going to have a hip replacement? I could speak honestly about it. I didn’t pretend and paid attention to when I was defensive and could stop myself so that I could remain open to connection instead of being right. I felt differently about sharing then I ever have. I felt confident because I am open to the voice of my intuition. I also feel that I have learned to “not have everything figured out”. I have learned that the path of healing is one of vulnerability. Being vulnerable means being honest and comfortable with imperfection. Being vulnerable is letting everything that we are be there with us. Being vulnerable is about self love.
And at the end of the day, I ventured to the snack table to get something to eat and I saw a woman I haven’t seen for awhile who I have known a long time. She came over to me with the look of extreme pity. She said, “I was expecting to see a tantric priestess.” The tantric serpent was awakened in that moment, my energy rose and I said. “That is what you are seeing. You are seeing a woman in her power. You are seeing someone who is not afraid anymore.”
She got it. She looked at me and I at her and we saw each other. We talked about what we are creating.
I realized why I was there at Women of Wisdom. There is empowerment there that, though invisible, is felt by everyone.
What I realized was that 24 years ago, I needed empowerment. I found it through the love and support of powerful women. Now I am one of those powerful women offering love and support to others.
May it be in Beauty.