There is empowerment there, though invisible, that is felt by everyone.

I spent four days at the Women of Wisdom Conference last weekend. I had had an emotional time getting ready for it and was doubting whether I wanted to go again this year. I was committed so I proceeded to prepare.

The first day was good, getting to know new people, reconnecting with old friends, selling products and having conversations about wise woman ways. Still I doubted whether I should be there. My life has expanded and changed. My work has grown. I am not the same person anymore. I am seeing how I need new avenues, new venues. So I created the question and the seeking to know what I was doing there.

Women of Wisdom is the reason I am no longer a school teacher. Women of Wisdom is the reason I started on the path of discovering the spiritual path that is mine to take. Before I was seeking but I didn’t know what was available. I learned about the Goddess, fell in love with the Goddess, I learned about Wicca and the earth teachings. I took my first shamanism class. I heard women talk about ancestors and sacred dance. I met Susun Weed and EagleSong, wise woman teachers that changed my life.

Had I outgrown this space that empowers women? I was asking.

I have had a challenge with my hip and walking for the past couple of years. I have dived deep into healing and transformation from this situation. I have learned invisible ways to heal. This journey has led me to transform my entire life. I have taken responsibility for my work in ways that has nurtured it to grow. I have learned to be at peace with money and have taken responsibility for my financial situation. I have transformed my marriage in partnership with my beloved husband. I have been successful in ways beyond what I could dream about.

This time when people approached me and asked how I was doing? What I was doing to heal or when I was going to have a hip replacement? I could speak honestly about it. I didn’t pretend and paid attention to when I was defensive and could stop myself so that I could remain open to connection instead of being right. I felt differently about sharing then I ever have. I felt confident because I am open to the voice of my intuition. I also feel that I have learned to “not have everything figured out”. I have learned that the path of healing is one of vulnerability. Being vulnerable means being honest and comfortable with imperfection. Being vulnerable is letting everything that we are be there with us. Being vulnerable is about self love.

And at the end of the day, I ventured to the snack table to get something to eat and I saw a woman I haven’t seen for awhile who I have known a long time. She came over to me with the look of extreme pity. She said, “I was expecting to see a tantric priestess.” The tantric serpent was awakened in that moment, my energy rose and I said. “That is what you are seeing. You are seeing a woman in her power. You are seeing someone who is not afraid anymore.”

She got it. She looked at me and I at her and we saw each other. We talked about what we are creating.

I realized why I was there at Women of Wisdom. There is empowerment there that, though invisible, is felt by everyone.

What I realized was that 24 years ago, I needed empowerment. I found it through the love and support of powerful women. Now I am one of those powerful women offering love and support to others.

May it be in Beauty.

Intuitive Epistles

ice on the ground
cold and quiet
kitties fluff their fur
goats hunker down
in the barn

allowing the darkness in
there is a blessing
the night holds the secrets
of the inner realms

we discover solitude
intuitive epistles
deep revelatory advice

nature offers wisdom
only found during
this time of year

commonality of
all beings found
in listening outside
in looking inward

I Feel Comfortable Expressing the Wild Woman Within Me

I am grateful for a good weekend at the NW Herb Symposium. I haven’t been to an herbal conference for awhile where clinical herbalists are teaching. I attended some wonderful classes and especially enjoyed classes by Susun Weed, my shamanic herbal teacher.

What I noticed is that I feel so much more comfortable and so much less intimidated with what others are doing. I am less competitive, I think because I love my work and am dedicated to doing it. I am also seeing how much I am like everyone at this conference, seeking knowledge and loving the plants.

Something that used to happen for me is that I would judge others because I was afraid to express who I am. I don’t do that anymore. I feel comfortable expressing the wild woman within me and seeing that there are many mirrors for this in the world.

My intention is that more and more women express who they are everyday….even if it seems kinda crazy. This is part of being a wild woman after all.

May it be in Beauty.

Things Began to Fall into Place

Today at our Unity church service, the speaker talked about complete surrender. I really like this Douglas Firtopic. I think it is radical to let ourselves go into the flow and not be attached to the outcome. I don’t mean to say I am very good at this. I have held on so long to some ways of being that didn’t serve me until I started noticing that I was hurting myself and others, and I still held on.

I have let go of a lot of patterns. I see some of them as addictions. “Its scary, its crazy, its not how I am supposed to act” is what my mind chatter keeps telling me. The shift to another way of acting and being though has been phenomanal. I have become more at ease with myself, my relationship with my husband Tadd is better and I am kinder to myself.

So here is where the rubber meets the road. When we want to change, when we see what requires changing and we want to start on a path to change, we need help. I would not have been able to find a more peaceful and satisfying way of living if I hadn’t gotten the support. Sometimes it was so hard to listen to someone telling me what they saw that wasn’t working for me. And yet, as I listened and started to make changes, things began to fall into place.

Here are some things to work on to create your sacred livelihood:
• How do you want to live?
• What is stopping you? Be radically honest.
Get help from coaches, teachers, friends, colleagues.
• Spend time outside in a natural setting to set intentions.
• Give thanks for your life right now. Find things everyday to be grateful for.
• Focus toward the world with generosity. Help others.
• Teach what you have learned.

May it be in Beauty.

I Am Starting to See Change

I am feeling less defensive lately. I have sunken into a more comfortable place with the work I am doing. I am not so afraid of what others think and have come to a more powerful place of setting an example for others of how to live from who we are.

I am not sure what shifted in me to bring me to this place of more ease. I know I have been working on this for a long time….listening as much as possible to my intuition, spending time in nature to receive wisdom, teaching others to live from who they are, doing what I said I would do, tithing and sharing… well as eating good food, buying new clothes, clearing out old stuff.

I have been exploring and learning a lot about possibility.  And I am starting to see change. I am seeing that the work I have been doing is paying off.

What I want to do with my writing is to share my transformations. My intention is to share the struggles and the ways I have gotten through them. I see this as part of living a sacred livelihood….to allow life to instruct us, to be honest about who we are, to allow self love to nurture us and to live as we are called to live.

I am grateful.

May it be in Beauty.

Weaving the Invisible Thread

“…you can keep refusing the call until you can’t stand yourself anymore. You can refuse the call, but something will keep reminding you…until you step into your destiny.” Jean Houston

Just this week, three baby goats were born in our barn to mama goat Fille Luna. In the past we lost a goat because it had been difficult for mama goat to feed all three since there are only two teats.

This time, remembering this, I began to pray and bless the situation. I said blessings in the barn and in my home that all the goats were getting all the nutrition they needed to thrive.
It is three days later and all three goats are happy and drinking from mama.

This is my calling. This is my bliss.

What I know to be mine to do is to work magic with the animals, plants and the unseen energies on our land.

If I get caught up in doubting my ability to be a shamanic practitioner, shamanic herbalist, and teacher my life gets chaotic and I feel weak.

Each of us has a calling, an invisible thread that is woven for us. When we discover it, we can weave it into the fabric of our lives. It is very strong and relentless.

The way I see this invisible thread is that I am being guided to do what is mine to do at all times. When I follow the thread as it leads me into the future, I see more pathways and I feel uplifted into my destiny.

And I am grateful.

Into the Earth Garden

I was out in my garden today and I was enchanted. I went up to this little place I don’t go much because it is so grown over and I found a little maple tree growing. I felt that the fairies are doing
some kind of mischief with me. My garden as you may know if you have been reading my post, is wild and there are many weeds.

I felt happy and free out there and child-like.tree with moss

I want to communicate with you about your sacred livelihood in this post. What I am seeing about this for me is that I have finally come to a place of having the garden that I really want. It is wild and it is free and it is weedy and it is enchanting.

I can breathe in my garden.

This way of living in harmony with nature and what we desire can really be applied to all of life. Creating the environment so that it corresponds to what our inner desires are brings a richness of life.

Learning the shamanic expansive ways of listening and receiving wisdom from nature opens us to a deeper way of listening to what is within us.

Tomorrow is a very special earth holiday called Beltane. This is the time when the fairies come forth to play with the energies all around on the land. It is the time of the fertility, sensuality and sexuality.

You don’t really have to understand any of this on an intellectual level. You simply need to go outside and see what is really going on.

I invite you out into the earth garden.

May it be in Beauty.